Parenting Mistakes Part 2: Tips to do Better

What we didn’t cover in Part 1—and why these missed mistakes matter just as much.

In my last Post, we identified some of the most typical parenting errors that we all make in our most recent post, along with solutions. However, that list only touched the tip of the iceberg, as many of you were aware. We’re delving deeper into parenting blind spots in this follow-up, which can subtly affect our kids’ emotional development, digital habits, and general maturation. Because parenting in the era of screens and artificial intelligence is not only challenging, but it is also changing daily.
If you missed Part 1, catch up here: https://raisingdigitalminds.com/2025/07/16/common-parenting-mistakes-and-how-to-fix-them/

We will continue talking about the points we didn’t talk about in our first blog post on common parenting mistakes. Given below are the suggested remaining mistakes that weren’t covered in Part 1and we would like to shed light on in todays Blog.

Expecting Perfection from Our Kids

We all want the best for our kids, but sometimes we unintentionally put too much pressure on them. Children may feel inadequate if we have unrealistic expectations for them, such as straight As, flawless behaviour, or immediate achievement. They begin to feel that their value is determined by their accomplishments rather than by who they are.

However, childhood is supposed to be a period of learning, creativity  and experimentation. They learn from their mistakes. We lose sight of their effort when we simply pay attention to the outcomes.

Fix:

Honour the journey rather than just the result. Express your pride in your child’s efforts if they put in a lot of study time but still don’t receive the best grade. Say something like, “I saw how much effort you put in—that matters so much,” rather than, “Why didn’t you get full marks?” This fosters a passion of learning and confidence rather than only a fear of failing.

Comparing Your Child to Others

Comparing oneself to others is a common mistake. Perhaps your niece is doing exceptionally well on the piano, or perhaps your neighbor’s youngster began reading at a young age. However, it might damage our child’s self-esteem and make them feel inadequate when we compare them to their siblings, classmates, or cousins.

Fix

Respect your child’s individuality. Try stating, “I love how kind and curious you are,” rather than, “Look how well your friend is doing.” Give them credit for their special traits. Encourage them to develop into their greatest selves, not into someone else

Letting Guilt Drive Parenting Decisions

As parents, particularly working parents, we frequently feel bad about not spending enough time with our children. In an attempt to make up for missed opportunities, this guilt may cause us to say “yes” too frequently, delay enforcing rules, or lavish our children with presents or screen time.

But it doesn’t help to give in too much. For children to feel safe, they require limits and structure. Saying “yes” out of guilt confuses them and can occasionally lead to the development of undesirable habits (such as excessive screen time or irregular sleep patterns).

Fix

As parents, especially those who work, we often feel guilty about not spending enough time with our kids. This guilt might lead parents to say “yes” too often, put off enforcing rules, or spoil our kids with gifts or screen time in an effort to make up for lost chances.

However, giving up too much isn’t helpful. Children need boundaries and structure to feel safe. They become confused when you say “yes” out of guilt, and it can sometimes result in the formation of bad habits (such excessive screen time or inconsistent sleep patterns).

Being Present But Emotionally Absent

You might be sitting right next to your child, but if your mind is elsewhere—scrolling on your phone, replying to work emails, or just zoned out—they notice. Children have a keen sense of our emotional energy. Even if we didn’t want to make someone feel that way, they may feel invisible or irrelevant when we are physically there but not emotionally.

“At least I’m home” or “I’m spending time with them” are phrases we frequently tell ourselves. However, being truly present entails more than merely occupying the same area. It’s about paying attention—looking into their eyes, hearing what they have to say, and demonstrating interest in their concerns, no matter how trivial they may appear to us.

Fix

Put down the phone. Shut off the laptop. Your child’s emotional tank may be filled with just 10 to 15 minutes of your full attention. Enquire about their day. Take a look at their drawings. Join them in laughing. Showing there with our hearts, not just our bodies, fosters enduring connections, love, and trust.

Talking More Than We Listen

As parents, we feel obligated to teach our children everything, including life lessons, safety precautions, and morals. Thus, we frequently catch ourselves talking a lot. We give advice, correct, explain, and occasionally even give lectures. However, we frequently overlook listening in the process.

Children may completely stop opening up if they feel like they’re always being talked at rather than with. As time passes, people may nod without truly connecting, withdraw more, or share less.

Fix

Pause. Ask them what they think first. Active listening shows respect and builds trust. Get better at waiting before answering. Try asking, “How do you feel about that?” or “What do you think we should do?” before offering advise. Active listening demonstrates respect, fosters trust, and lets them know that their voice counts. At times, kids simply want to be heard, not corrected.

Failing to Model the Behavior We Expect

Even when we don’t believe they are, children are always observing. They will learn to shout if we warn them not to, but then when we get angry, we raise our voice. They will notice if we anticipate honesty but they witness us doing white falsehoods. The message is lost if we establish screen time limitations yet continue to be addicted to our phones.

Children learn from our actions as much as from our words.

Fix

Set an example. When you make a mistake, say you’re sorry. Remain composed when arguing. When spending time with your family, put your personal phone away. Children naturally absorb values when we model them for them. Being authentic and consistent is more important than being flawless.

Using Fear or Shame as a Discipline Tool

Sometimes, in an attempt to encourage our children to behave, we use harsh language or threats out of fear or anger. For example, “You should be ashamed of yourself” or “I’ll leave you here if you don’t listen.” Even while these strategies could be effective at the time, they don’t teach morality. They instill guilt, secrecy, and terror.

Children who get fear-based discipline frequently learn to cover up their errors rather than grow from them.

Fix

Prioritise connection above control. Make use of introspective enquiries such as “What could we do differently next time?” and calm discussions with natural results. Instead of humiliating, discipline should instruct. Even if your child makes a mistake, they should feel comfortable approaching you.

Ignoring Their Need for Autonomy

We want to keep our kids safe as parents. We intervene to assist, make decisions, find solutions, and occasionally even speak for them. However, when we take care of everything for them, they are deprived of the opportunity to become independent. Even when they are able to perform things on their own, they begin to think they are incapable of doing so.

 When we handle every click, password, or choice for them without consulting them, this also frequently occurs in the digital realm.

Fix

As parents, we want to keep our children safe. We step in to help, to decide, to solve, and sometimes even to speak for them. However, kids are denied the chance to develop their independence when we handle everything for them. They start to believe they are incapable of accomplishing things on their own, even when they are capable of doing so.

This is especially common in the digital world, where we manage each click, password, or decision for them without their input.

Assuming One-Size-Fits-All Parenting

A strategy that works for your older child might not work at all with your smaller one. Every kid has a unique wiring pattern. Some people are brash and talkative by nature, while others are sensitive. While some people thrive with freedom, others want more rigidity. Nevertheless, we occasionally attempt to use the same parenting techniques and guidelines with each of our children.

However, kids are not exact replicas of one another. Their learning methods, personalities, and demands are unique.

Fix:

Spend some time getting to know each child’s distinct nature. It’s acceptable if one youngster benefits from gentle encouragement while another need harsh reminders. Customising your parenting style is about being responsive, not about showing preference. Our children will feel more heard, supported, and seen the more we meet them where they are.

Not Creating a Safe Space for Mistakes

All kids will make mistakes. They’ll make bad choices, lose their anger, forget their assignments, or spill items. It’s a necessary element of maturing. However, if we respond harshly—by shouting, condemning, or punishing them—they will begin to cover up their errors. Even worse, they can give up completely out of dread of failure.

Children should understand that making mistakes is normal and that the safest place to learn is at home.

Fix:

Discuss candidly that failure is a necessary component of learning. Tell about your own blunders as a youngster. Honour work rather than just achievement. Try asking “What do you think we could do differently next time?” rather than “Why did you do that?” Remind them that making mistakes makes them human, not awful.

Not Investing in Their Emotional Intelligence

WE all can observe that as a whole society we all focus on grames unfortunately even knowing that grades are not going t define their personality and growth.  For example knowing methods to solve math problems doesn’t help if a child cis unable to recognize their emotions, handle pressure, conflict, or empathize with others accept it.

Being Emotionally intelligent is what helps children form healthy relationships, navigate challenges, and develop resilience in the face of stress or failure.

Fix:

Make sure that emotional learning part of everyday life. Try to help your child name their feelings: “Are you feeling frustrated or sad?” Encourage them to notice how others feel too. Talk about emotions openly. Model kindness, patience, and empathy yourself—because they learn best by watching us.

Investing More on Toys, Gifts, and Expensive Stuff

We frequently resort to new toys, technology, snacks, or even trips when we’re feeling bad or want to please our kids. Giving presents is perfectly acceptable, but it sets the incorrect example when it is used frequently in place of time or attention.
Although children don’t recall every gift they received, they do recall the emotions we evoked in them.

Fix:

Prioritise experiences over material possessions. Connection and enduring memories are created via simple activities like taking a stroll, baking cookies together, making a blanket fort, or simply sitting and listening to their stories. The greatest gift you can offer is your presence.

Trying to Fulfill All Their Wishes

Seeing our kids happy makes us happy. However, we could unwittingly teach kids that the world should always accommodate their every need if we give in to their demands for toys, snacks, applications, or more screen time.

They will find it more difficult to deal with disappointment, delays, or the word “no” in the future as a result.

Fix:

Instill in your youngster the importance of perseverance and hard effort. It increases emotional fortitude, thankfulness, and patience. Saying no doesn’t imply you’re cruel; rather, it helps children understand that not all of their wishes will be granted right away in real life.

No Parental Control on Digital Devices and Social Media

Children can quickly come across inappropriate information in today’s digital environment, or worse, become victims of internet predators and frauds. Social networking and gaming sites can expose youngsters to harmful messages, addictive behaviours, and cyberbullying if they are not watched over.

With so many platforms and applications available, it’s easy for parents to feel overwhelmed, yet doing nothing isn’t safe.

Fix:

Make use of the parental controls that are incorporated into applications and gadgets. Look into kid-friendly websites. Above all, discuss with your kids the dangers and limits of using the internet. Regarding their online lives, have an open door approach. Be an honest monitor, not a spy. Assist children in realising that being safe online is equally as crucial as being cautious when crossing the street.safety.

Parenting may be daunting, let’s face it. It’s simple to get into unintended habits while balancing work, home, screens, school, and all the emotions that come with it. However, that just shows that we are human and does not imply that we are failing.

When we stray, the following straightforward, heartfelt advice might help us gently get back on track:

TIPS

• Less talking and more listening. Kids don’t always need our answers; sometimes they simply need our ears.
• Prior to correcting, connect. Before discussing behaviour, an embrace or a friendly remark might make a big difference.
• Instruct emotions as well as rules. Assist your youngster in naming their feelings. It’s not simply a parenting gimmick; it’s a life skill.
• Don’t be scared to refuse. Although it may not increase your popularity, it fosters order, safety, and trust.
• Be present, but not flawless. Put down the phone. Look them in the eyes. Ten minutes of complete focus is plenty.
• Give them a chance to try and fail. Resilience and confidence develop in this way.
• Prioritise quality time above material possessions. The time you spend with them will be more memorable than the present.
• Act like you would like them to act. Your words are not as important as your deeds.
• It’s acceptable to make errors. In any case, home should feel like a secure place to make mistakes, grow, and find love.
• Treat every child as the unique person that they are. It’s OK that differen
• personalities respond differently to different approaches.

From One Parent to Another: A Closing Note

You must be quite concerned if you have read this far. You’re making an effort. You’re coming. And it is the most important thing.

Everybody has days when they yell, say something inappropriate, or feel distant from their children. Everybody has regrets, feelings of guilt, and worries that they aren’t doing enough. However, we frequently overlook the reality that we are already good parents because we worry about being so.

It isn’t about being perfect. It’s about having the willingness to change. to state, “I’m learning, but I didn’t handle that well.” to request a hug following a trying time. to choose inquiry over criticism and connection over control.

So, be kind to yourself today. Begin modestly. Fix what has to be fixed. When necessary, offer an apology. Additionally, continue to walk with your child rather than in front of them.

This is not unique to you. Together, we’re working things out.

Starting with how we treat ourselves, let’s create children who are self-aware, compassionate, and emotionally resilient. Let me know if you have any comments.

Related Posts You May Love

• Common Parenting Mistakes and How to Fix Them – Part 1
• Screen Time & Stress – The Real Impact on Kids
• Digital Detox Evenings for Kids – A Simple Routine
• Online Safety & Digital Wellbeing – A Parent’s Guide
• Social Media and Teens – A Must-Read Parent’s Guide

Helpful External Resource:

• Harvard University – How Serve & Return Interaction Shapes Brain Development