Top Parenting Mistakes and Practical Tips to Fix Them

Introduction: Our intentions were right but….

Parenting is not a trick. It is not a science. There are no clear-cut ways to be better parents. We all make mistakes; some parents stay informed, and others—like us—learn from those mistakes and try to rectify them. First-time parents, in particular, often make decisions they later reflect upon. They realize, “That wasn’t okay,” or “I shouldn’t have behaved that way.” This reflection occurs especially when they see the effects on their child. Parenting is not about perfection—it’s about learning by doing.

Let me take you back to a time when there was no internet. There were no apps. Social media did not guide us. Back then, parents relied on the wisdom passed down from elders. But now, in this digital and AI-driven era, we have multiple platforms. These platforms and resources help us stay informed. They also help avoid common parenting mistakes.

I feel it’s necessary to discuss my understanding of common parenting mistakes. We often have good intentions behind certain behaviors. At the time, these behaviors may feel right but later prove to have unintended consequences. I’ve had my fair share of parenting missteps, especially while raising my first child.

Most of us don’t intentionally set out to make these parenting mistakes. The fact is—we love deeply, show concern, and try to be the best version of ourselves. Yet, in our journey to raise happy, successful, and well-groomed kids, we often fall into common parenting traps. These traps unintentionally hurt more than help.

How we respond to these parenting mistakes varies.

Some parents acknowledge and learn from them. Others stay in denial, blaming the environment, circumstances, or external pressures. All those factors matter. Nonetheless, true change begins when we recognize where we went wrong. It also starts with understanding what we have done differently.

These are common parenting mistakes—some unintentional, others made with good intentions—but if left unchecked, they can have lasting impacts. The good news is, these are not failures. They are fixable patterns. And sometimes, fixing them can mean everything. Identifying them at the right time is the first step toward raising more emotionally resilient and deeply connected children. Let me talk about the few common mistakes which i think are very common among all of us.

List of common Mistakes

1. Not Talking to Our Babies Early Enough
2. Trying to Control Everything Instead of Connecting
3. Using Screens as Babysitters (Too Often)
4. Dismissing Their Emotions
5. Overpraising or Over correcting
6. Over caring (Not Letting Them Take Risks)
7. Under caring (Missing Emotional Availability)
8. Expecting Perfection from Our Kids
9. Comparing Your Child to Others
10. Letting Guilt Drive Parenting Decisions
11. Being Here But Emotionally Absent
12. Talking More Than We Listen
13. Failing to Model the Behavior We Expect
14. Using Fear or Shame as a Discipline Tool
15. Ignoring Their Need for Autonomy
16. Assuming One-Size-Fits-All Parenting
17. Not Creating a Safe Space for Mistakes
18. Not Investing in Their Emotional Intelligence
19. Investing more on Toys, Gifts and expensive stuff
20. Trying to Fulfill all their wishes
21. No. Parental control on digital devices and social media pages(online safety risks)

And the list goes on and on. Let me explain few in today’s post and the rest i will discuss in next post.

1. Not Talking to Our Babies Early Enough

Why it matters and what are the impacts

According to a University of Washington study, babies begin recognizing voices in the womb. They particularly recognize their mother’s voice and the rhythm of their native language. These early sound patterns begin shaping language development even before birth.

Furthermore, as noted by the National Institutes of Health, prenatal exposure to language stimulates auditory brain development. It also creates memory traces that support learning after birth. The first thousand days of life, from conception to age two, are crucial for a child’s brain development. They shape emotional regulation and enhance future learning potential. I personally realize the importance of starting early conversations. This can help avoid cases of speech delays we see in our society. Not starting early conversation could be a contributing factor.

Tips

• Start talking to your baby during pregnancy. Do this when you are alone, cooking in the kitchen, or whatever you are doing. Describe what you’re doing, share your thoughts, or simply hum.
• Narrate everyday activities. Talk about putting on your socks today. Describe giving a bath and feeding you. Say, “Let’s go outside—it’s sunny today!”
• Make eye contact, smile, and respond to coos and babbles. This is the right time to connect to your child and start conversations to build trust and neural pathways.
• Read aloud story books or may be picture books or anything available. It’s the voice and rhythm that matter most.
• Remember that talking to your baby isn’t about getting a response. The purpose is bonding. This becomes the foundation for lifelong communication, confidence, and closeness.

2. Trying to Control Everything Instead of Connecting

What many of us still do—and its very common mistake—is approach parenting with a tendency to dictate. ‘Put your shoes on.’ ‘Hurry up, eat faster.’ ‘Oh, don’t spill.’ ‘You should say thank you and sorry.’ ‘You’re not supposed to cry.’ ‘Be strong and be quiet.’ And the list goes on.

This is one form of micromanagement also and we micromanage in the name of good parenting. We forget that too much control and correction can leave kids feeling unseen. It also increases their dependency on parents. In the later stage, they will rely on parents for advice and decision-making. They will depend on parents for whatever problems they encounter in life.

Why it matters:

Kids need autonomy and connection and its better to let them think and act. Constant commands can weaken their self-trust and make them either defiant or overly obedient. Research from the University of Minnesota indicates that over-controlling parenting styles lead to increased anxiety in children. These styles also cause behavioral issues.

TIPS

• Replace orders with questions: Like do you need to get ready? what you want to put on”
• opt for bonding first over correction: smile and Hug first, talk later.
• encourage kids make small decisions (even if it’s not good one or even if its messy).
• Give alternate options or choices whenever possible: “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?
• Be a role model not a controller as kids learn more form parents’ actions rather than words
• Let them make small mistakes as its part of their childhood.
• Children grow well when they feel supported and guided—not controlled. Avoid this common mistake by offering structure with warmth and building trust and cooperation.

3. Using Screens as Babysitters (Too Often)

Parenting is hard. Nowadays, most parents are working full time. Most parents are not fully available for kids during the daytime. This is due to jobs, business, and other earning-related activities. After a long day of working hours, it’s really hard to listen to endless questions. It is also tough to adjust to their routine. Some parents have that stamina, but not all do. Handing a child a screen can feel like a much-needed pause button for some me time. Usually starting with small, intentional doses eventually screens become the default babysitter.

Instead of learning to normalize boredom and to self-soothe or entertain, children start relying on screens for calm and focus. The result? Speech delays, shorter attention spans, decreased creativity, emotional dysregulation and addiction.

Why it matters:

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, excessive screen time in young children causes language delays. It leads to attention problems, sleep disturbances, and a reduction in parent-child interaction. A study published in JAMA Pediatrics also found a correlation. Children with higher screen time at ages 2 and 3 performed poorly on developmental screening tests. This was evident at age 5.

TIPS

• Don’t start screen exposure at very early age.
• Set clear agreement and limit screen time to 30–60 minutes per day for preschoolers, with supervision and high-quality content.
• Provide alternatives to screen time like reading books, playing puzzles, Playing chess, outdoor play, or even simple cardboard box adventures.
• Spend dedicated quality time with your children. It could be for 2 hours after office. Switch off your mobile if possible. No one should be around. It’s just you and your children. Ask your child what happened during the whole day. Talk about how your work was. This shows kids that they are important to you.
• During screen time, co-watch and co-play. Use the moment to connect, ask questions, and discuss what they’re seeing.
• In case of TV time, set a timer for 1 hour. After that, the screen will display a message saying, ‘Time for today is over
• Screens don’t have to be the enemy—but they also shouldn’t become a silent substitute for our presence. When used mindfully, digital tools can support learning and connection. But nothing replaces the magic of a parent who is engaged, available, and attuned.

4. Dismissing Their Emotions

It happened on a Tuesday evening. My daughter came home from school, eyes filled with tears. She had tried to answer a question in class, and another child laughed. As she began to tell me, I instinctively said, “It’s okay, don’t cry—it’s not a big deal.”

She went quiet. Her small shoulders slumped. In trying to comfort her, I had shut down her pain.

We’ve all said something like this before. It’s usually not out of malice. It is often a desperate attempt to calm the moment. We might want to move on quickly or protect our child from discomfort. But when we dismiss or minimize our child’s feelings, we’re sending a message: “Your feelings are inconvenient, dramatic, or invalid.”

Why it matters:

According to the Gottman Institute, children whose parents dismiss emotions are more likely to develop poor emotional regulation. These children also have trouble forming healthy relationships later in life. In contrast, children who feel validated grow into emotionally intelligent adults who are confident in expressing themselves.

The Harvard Center on the Developing Child emphasizes a crucial point. Early emotional experiences shape the architecture of a child’s developing brain. When parents consistently validate emotions, it lays the groundwork for empathy, resilience, and mental well-being.

TIPS

• I can see that really upset you.” You don’t need to agree to acknowledge.
• “Are you feeling frustrated, embarrassed, or sad?” Giving language to feelings helps kids manage them.
• Share moments when you’ve felt overwhelmed and how you handled it.
• When your child is upset, they need your calm more than your correction.

Call to Action

Every parent stumbles. Every child forgives. What matters most is showing up with love and a willingness to grow.

? Which of these parenting mistakes do you relate to the most?
? What lesson have you learned on your parenting journey?

Share your story in the comments. Pass this along to a fellow parent who could use a little support today. Let’s raise emotionally strong, deeply connected kids—together.

For more parenting insights, screen-time tips, and emotionally intelligent tools, don’t forget to check out these posts:

? External Links (with sources):

1. University of Washington Study (babies hear in womb)
   ? https://www.washington.edu/news/2013/01/02/while-in-womb-babies-begin-learning-language-from-their-mothers/
2. NIH Research – Prenatal Language & Brain Development
   ? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10116668/
3. American Academy of Pediatrics – Media & Young Minds
   ? https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/5/e20162591/60393/Media-and-Young-Minds
4. JAMA Pediatrics Study – Screen Time & Development
   ? https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2722666
5. Gottman Institute – Emotion Coaching
   ? https://www.gottman.com/blog/emotion-coaching-one-of-the-most-important-parenting-practices/
6. Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Brain Architecture
   ? https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/brain-architecture/

? Suggested Internal Links (from RaisingDigitalMinds.com):

Parenting in Digital Age